Those moments with colleagues, friends, partners or children when we feel unable to connect because their actions make no sense to us or don’t align with our feelings or values, can be infuriating, upsetting and frustrating.
This inability to understand their position means we struggle to communicate or connect. In response we can find that we withdraw, argue or lecture to make ourselves heard. But none of these help us to connect with or understand the other person. This is where the art of wondering can be wonderful.
Wondering is an act of curiosity. The desire to connect, empathize, imagine another person’s inner world.
It is so incredibly simple when you think about it but so incredibly effective. ‘I wonder if there is something that someone wants to say that hasn’t been said yet’, ‘I wonder if you are worried about that’, ‘I wonder if you and I are seeing this differently’. By simply wondering aloud about what might be going on for someone else we show that we are interested, want to understand and want to communicate.
So don’t wonder what might happen if you try wondering - give it a go.
